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International Patent Application No. WO02069773.
A toilet seat, invented in Germany. Side pieces 14b, 15b slide apart under the user's weight.
This spreads the user's buttocks apart, making defaecation easier and more comfortable.
It also contributes to personal hygiene by preventing soiling in the area around the anus.
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| An earlier French Patent Application No. FR2739014
has been cited in the official search against the above international patent application.
This describes a toilet seat that works on a rather similar principle, so it will be
interesting to see if patents are eventually granted on the later international application.
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French Patent No. FR2780195.
A sun-dial for a gravestone. A gnomon 8 casts a shadow 9 on the gravestone 1.
Curves 3,4,6 indicate anniversaries, e.g. of the deceased's dates of birth
and death, and/or a religious festival such as All Saints' Day. The positions
of the curves are calculated such that on the appropriate date, the respective
curve is picked out by the shadow 9.
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| The above French patent was granted despite an earlier
Japanese Patent Application No. JP09-256683.
This describes a similar idea, but embellished with a solar-powered fibre-optic display.
Additionally, the gnomon may be in the form of a golf putter, to celebrate the
deceased's favourite game. |
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US Patent No. US6325727.
An underwater golf swing training device. It has a hydrodynamically adjustable paddle 13 that can be
altered manually. This provides a variable resistance to the user as he swings the device through
the water.
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| German Patent Application No. DE4020440.
The "Go-Matic" device for hygienic removal of dog excrement.
It comprises a plastic tube with two open ends. One end is connected to an
all-purpose suction unit, while the other is inserted in the dog's anus.
A funnel around the tube sits against the animal's buttocks, to prevent
unnecessary spattering. The "Go-Matic" device prevents the
soiling of parks and play areas. It can also be used on human patients
suffering from chronic constipation.
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International Patent Application No. WO9939598.
Headgear in the form of a portable container (a beer barrel?). It has
a spigot 14 for dispensing the contents by gravity or pressure.
Or the spigot may have a hose so that the contents can be dispensed
by suction direct to the wearer's mouth. The headgear can also include
a cooling system; a heating system; an audio system; and/or a visual system. |
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| US Patent No. US4233942.
A device for protecting the ears of a long-haired dog from becoming soiled by food
while it is eating. A tube contains and protects each of the dog's ears. The tubes are
held away from the dog's mouth and food as it eats. |
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US Patent No. US4773863.
A urinal with amusement features. Discourages the inadvertent or intentional
diversion of urine outside the proper receptacle. Urine is detected
by pressure or temperature sensors 12, sending an electrical signal
to a control unit 16. This activates a loudspeaker 28 and video screen
24, to provide audio and visual signals. The combination of sight
and sound may be varied by the user upon proper direction of the urine
stream, and the user is actively involved in his own amusement. |
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| US Patent No. US4429685.
A method of growing unicorns. It is claimed to
produce a unicorn of higher intelligence and
physical attributes, useful as a guard animal.
(You might not want to know, but the method
involves surgical alteration of a one-week old
goat, so that its two horn buds will grow
together.) |
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US Patent No. US4734078.
A brassiere which surrounds the breasts with
water, so that a buoyant force provides improved
and independent support for each breast. A
transparent version is suggested for those who
wish to make a fashion statement. |
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| French Patent Application No. FR2694256.
An amphibious horse drawn light vehicle, with
floats 13 associated with the harnessing shafts.
A preferred form has tricycle wheels which can be
raised and lowered to provide pedal assistance.
Optionally there may be paddles on the rear
wheels. |
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French Patent Application No. FR2640874.
The ultimate in safe sex. A whole body suit made
from a transparent plastic such as PVC. A condom
4 is attachable to the suit. Protects against
sexually transmitted diseases. |
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| International Patent Application
No. WO9701384.
A leash for walking an imaginary pet. It has a
preformed shape and supports a simulated pet
harness 42 and collar 54. A micro loudspeaker in
the collar is connected to an integrated circuit
in the handle, to produce a variety of barks,
growls etc. |
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US Patent No. US5163447.
A condom which incorporates a miniature
force-sensitive sound-playing unit. This contains
a chip-controlled piezoelectric sound transducer
which plays a melody or voiced message during
intercourse. |
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